Refining (as in non-metallurgical uses) consists of purifying an impure material, in this case a metal. It is to be distinguished from other processes such as smelting and calcining in that those two involve a chemical change to the raw material, whereas in refining, the final material is usually identical chemically to the original one, only it is purer.
When I read this definition there were a couple of words that jumped out at me.The first one was purifying an impure material. The next was change and the last was purer.
I think this summarizes what happens to us when we go through the refiners fire. We are impure material. Every. Single. One. of us is impure. We make mistakes, we sin, we do wrong. I am not saying that the reason we have to go through hard things is because of sin, but sometimes it is. Those times are extremely painful because we know that we could have avoided the pain we are in. However, we are being changed and we can either embrace the change or fight against it.
The Lord is purifying us. He is taking the "raw material" and heating it up, hammering us to mold us into what he want us to be. We have to change and that happens through the refiners fire. I love this quote by James E. Faust:
The Divine Shepherd has a message of hope, strength, and deliverance for all. If there were no night, we would not appreciate the day, nor could we see the stars and the vastness of the heavens. We must partake of the bitter with the sweet. There is a divine purpose in the adversities we encounter every day. They
prepare, they purge, they purify, and thus they bless.
One of the good things that comes from going through the refiners fire is that you are then able to succor those who may be going through their own. I have found this to be true every time I have had a trial. The Lord will never leave us alone in our trial. He has promised us that He won't give us more than we can handle. Together with the Lord you can handle anything. He knows that we have to be put through the refiners fire. He wants us to change and become better. He knows our worth. He wants us to purify our-self and then go and help purify others.
So how do your survive the refiners fire? How do you survive the pain of the intense heat you are being exposed to? I can only share what worked for me.
I have several experiences that I would consider refiners fire but many of them are too personal to share in such a public place. I will share the most recent and that is my divorce. I did not want the divorce, I did not ask for the divorce and frankly I would probably still be married right now if my husband of 21 years hadn't left. I would have continued being miserable and unhappy and hating every part of my marriage. I desperately wanted a two parent home for my children...so much so that I stayed in a miserable relationship for years. I don't think I had any idea the kind of pain I was about to endure. I was anguished and continued to allow him to hurt me by his actions. I was in extreme pain. I was forced to my knees by the pain. I KNEW I could not do this without the Lord. I developed a relationship with my Savior I did not know I could have. He succored me. He healed my broken heart. One experience in particular really changed my life. About 6 years ago I was serving as the Stake Girls Camp Director. One of the things I asked the Stake Youth Leaders to do was to memorize the Living Christ. None of them did it however my 13 year old daughter and I did. It was a wonderful experience and I would recommend it to everyone! We memorized it while we were driving in the car. I had no idea that that one act inspired by the Lord for me so many years before would literally save my life. One day while I was at work, I went in the bathroom and kneeled down on the floor and told the Lord how much I hated feeling like I did. I didn't want the hate and anger and despair in my heart anymore. He whispered to me "Recite the Living Christ". So I did. Every time I had a hateful, ugly thought I would begin again "As we commemorate the birth of Jesus Christ..." EVERY Time the ugliness would leave me, the darkness and despair would dissipate and the spirit of the Lord would envelop me. This moment was the beginning of healing for me. It was a SLOW process with many tears shed, many counseling appointments, many walks with my best friend which were more about the talk then the walk, and visits with my bishop. But, the healing began. I learned so much about myself. It was a time of self discovery and becoming the woman I want to be. I have changed for the better. I have come through the refiners fire and am so much stronger than I ever thought possible. Life is not perfect for me. I have many struggles however I have a clearer vision of who I am and who I want to become. Would I wish this kind of pain on anyone? No way! However I can see the Lord's purifying power in me. He is molding me into what he wants me to become. He is forging me through the refiners fire and I know it will be worth it! I am do glad that I was not lost in the fire. I know that with the Lord by my side I can become all he wants me to. I am being built through my refiners fire.
This video shares an incredible message of the refiners fire.
https://www.lds.org/media-library/video/2014-11-010-the-refiners-fire?lang=eng
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