For that small moment

Sometimes I get down on myself because I am not able to give my children everything I think they deserve.  Do they have the necessities of life? Absolutely...they have never once went hungry, been without clothing, or not had a home to call their own.  However, they haven't always had the vacations I would like to take them on or they opportunities to go to EFY or other activities they wanted to try like horses.  Since becoming a single mother, it has been even harder to provide all the things I want for my kids.  Now, if I read another mom's blog post saying those things I would instantly want to tell her that those things are not important.  I know it, but this is the truth of this mama's heart.  I want to take my kids to Disneyland. I want to go on a church history trip.  I want to have a nice car for them to drive. Those are the desires of my heart.  I know these things are not important. In fact, my kids have had to work for everything they have. This is a good thing. They are so strong and appreciate the things they have learned. They also are really proud of the things they have accomplished. However...in my heart of hearts I wish for something different.

The other day I was having a pity party.  One of those days when you feel like you are failing and wishing you could give more than you have. I went to my room early and pulled out a book and started reading.  I was trying to give myself an attitude adjustment.  I wasn't in their more than 10 minutes when my 19 year old daughter came b-bopping in and jumped on my bed with her book.  We started talking and laughing.  Pretty soon my 16 year old son and 14 year old son ended up in my room as well.  We were cracking jokes and laughing and teasing.  My boys were standing in the bathroom off my bedroom looking at themselves shirtless in the mirror and were discussing life events like how many chest hairs they had and who had the biggest traps when the spirit spoke to me and told me that this was what life was about. These were the moments that I wanted to cherish.  For that one instance my life was perfect.  I had my kids with me, we were happy and so content being together.  The spirit bore witness to me that for that moment my life was perfect.


I have a saying on my wall over my piano. It says " Enjoy the little things in life because one day you will look back and they will be the big things".  This was a little thing...my kids laughing and joking and enjoying being together. I know that moment was a tender mercy from the Lord. He reminded me of the immense blessings these children are in my life.  He reminded me that my life is perfect. For that small moment, everything was perfect!